Feel very sad

[DarkLobo]

None of the translation fits the sentence... anyway, you have to clear your mind about what you want in your life... to this far seems to me that you have no idea what you want now... (but thats just my opinion) life is all about choices, so make the right choice, or the less worst...

[Javokis]

Yeah. I really don't know what I want. I can't answer for sure if I love her because I'm torn between loving her and loving my dreams.

[DarkLobo]

Im sure you will make the right choice... you want my advice? follow your dreams... i mess up when i married... now theres plenty of things i cant do... like dress how i love... (goth style) cant have much time for my own, i have shitload of things i need to pay... but hey... if its makes you happy, just do what you got to do.

[Slayden]

If you waiver in your lover for her, forget her. You have NO idea the amount of horror stories I have heard with regard to bad marriages. Most of the marriages had a spouse that had the "gut feeling" that there was something wrong with the person but decided to go through with the marriage anyway, only to end up with a very miserable existence, before the divorce.

I know life is full of choices. Just stick to what you know, learn what you can, and do what you gotta do. That is why I chose the my personal title, below my avatar. But be careful not to be so decisive that you jump into or away from anything that comes by. Weigh everything and decide. Be decisive, not impulsive.

[ORI]

I know life is full of choices. Just stick to what you know, learn what you can, and do what you gotta do. That is why I chose the my personal title, below my avatar. But be careful not to be so decisive that you jump into or away from anything that comes by. Weigh everything and decide. Be decisive, not impulsive.

IMO its not about being decieve, its about finding out what you REALLY want to do behind that totally rational thinking and moral reasoning(The call of the beast within) and then     
just figuring out how to do it, Like ever thought of finding a girl who support or interface with your dreams and visions instead of being "torn apart"?
 
IMO sacraficing dreams for other people is a waste, especially when you later realize you didnt have to.

[Novitate Asher]

Ive given up alot to be with my woman, because her dreams are different to mine

Ive left my country, (which makes me as good as dead or a traitor as far as most people are concerned)
given up: my band and my business,  (neither my band or business partners are speaking to me)

left behind friends ive had for 15 years and family.

Left a good job (I was promoted then had to hand in my notice)

I love her more then anything and id love to have a future with her but it is HARD going.
I cant tell you whether it will work out or not but I chose to take a chance and try for the happy family future and whatever happens I can say i tried and rest peacefully at night.

no sympathy for the devil.


P.S. I agree with Dark Lobo, be prepared for Debt to be your friend. iyoud think 2 people paying for rent etc would leave you with more money.... nope it works out less. joy of joys

[Bloodywolf]

Ok, might sound stupid when coming from a 16year old but.

Your 27... thats still a young age with a whole life to come. in my opinion people shouldn't marry till 30+. Marrige comes with advantages and Disadvantages. but if it suddenly doesn't work out... Well what then? i'm not aying you mightn't love her. But I'm saying that you should follow your dreams aswell. People oftenly regret giving up thier dreams for some reason. I'm not sayin marriage is a definitly NONO, but take much care when doing it.

Finish your studies and whatever you want to do. The higher and exspansive your knowledge, the more benefith for you and your family.

But in the end. All we your (hopefully  ) friends can do is support you and give advice, but its you taking all the descisions. Who knows, she might be misses right.

[Javokis]

Signs are pointing to misses wrong right now. I got that eerie feeling in the back of my neck. Just ealier today she said she might be pregnant. Now I'm like, 'WTF!' Where is this coming from? First she tries to tell me that I proposed to her last week and now she's saying she is pregnant.

Let me tell you guys something:

-First off, she has dedts.
-Secondly she is a big spender.

I have little dedts and I spend wisely after training myself well with the art of conservation. My mom beleives that she is just trying to use me. I can't marry someone who has dedts. Because if we marry, her dedts become my dedts. I'm becoming more and more suspicious about her. Sex isn't that great and she's the one pushing for it. I only had one successful day of telling her no. She's trying to hook shot me with her problems and with my weak will, she's getting what she wants.

I feel my life is being ruined and now I truly feel that women are evil, manipulative, beings set out to syphen our lifeforce energy for some unspeakable purpose.

[DarkLobo]

Voila... i cannot tell since i am not there... BUT HECK... When ever you doubt about something get away as far as you cant... ive learn this... whenever something is just not right and whenever you feel something fishy... sometimes you cannot just go blindly... MAKE THE RIGHT CHOICE... im sure none of us wants you to get in trouble... and none of us wants you to keep away from her... we can just give opinions and personal points of view from what has happened to us... MAKE THE RIGHT CHOICE, this will point directly to YOUR future...

I left my Goth-Metal band as lead singer, i left Punk/Rock/Metal Concerts, left my Gothic clothes then came back, then left it again, then come back because she just dont like anything related to "Rock" (she calls is devil shit or sissy), but this is what i am... is my Filosophy and my way to be, what i love and what makes me feel ME,
now im being annoyed to hell to leave my clothes again... i cant use the pc as much as i loved to use them, i cant stay too late using pc cause she just wont sleep if i dont sleep at the same time... i cant spend all my money into upgrading pc, buying  black leather clothes, boots or whatever related (if i do she would sometimes throw it to the damn garbage, happened once since we got married) i cant hang out with my friends anymore cause i live way to far from them and whenever they invite me to a concert or whatever i just cant go because she just dosent likes me to hang with my "Devil Sissies" friends... i cannot assure you its gona be the same for you... but i will assure you that you will leave MANY things behind... and prepare yourself to spend HUNDREDS of money into shit you wont ever use, eat or like.

Choice, its all about choice... MAKE THE RIGTH CHOICE and prepare for the future... whatever decision you take we cannot support it, but we can wish you the best.

[Signothorn]

It is really hard to say without seeing things unfold first-hand. You could even unknowingly have a little cold feet and your perception of the situation could be off. If you have concerns, you should deal with them before marriage because don't think marriage is going to solve your problems. If finances are the issue, I suggest you take it out of the equation. If you are otherwise confident in going forward, suggest a prenuptual agreement so her finances are completely seperate from yours. If love is the motivation for marriage, she should have no problem with this. Ignore the negative connotations of a pre-nup, tell her it's to prevent finances from ever being an issue in the marriage and keep it that simple. It's a good way to test the water without destroying things if you turn out to be wrong. Just a thought.

[Javokis]

I didn't want any of this. I never wanted any of this. I've tried to avoid relationships for this very reason and now I feel like I'm a fish caught in a fish net. I was new to all of this and didn't listen to my instincts because of my stupid curiosity.

I'm such a weak willed push over in real life and I hate myself for it.

[Signothorn]

I didn't want any of this. I never wanted any of this. I've tried to avoid relationships for this very reason and now I feel like I'm a fish caught in a fish net. I was new to all of this and didn't listen to my instincts because of my stupid curiosity.

I'm such a weak willed push over in real life and I hate myself for it.

You have a stronger will than I do, at least you've tried. I've stayed away intentionally as well to protect myself and I realize it's cowardly. At least you put yourself out there and tried, that's admirable. There must be a million things racing through your head right now and the stakes seem high. I know it seems cliche but whatever happens will only make you a stronger person.

[Novitate Asher]

Rain I dont know ye man but its fairly obvious that being with the woman goes against your better judgement.

 It sounds like youre in a bad relationship but dont want to or have the strength to end it. In my experiance those relationships end sooner or later no matter what you do and being the man and ending them sooner saves her some pain.

Wont save you on regrets or what ifs but IMO we were born men; bigger, stronger and less emotional so we can bite the bullet for the women and kids when we have to.


(edited for grammer)

[Javokis]

Aha! My mom just told me she is NOT pregnant. I am so dumping her.

No one fucking uses me anymore. You're right. This does make me stronger.

[Slayden]

Good! You replied before I could finish my post and I don't feel like editing it so I'm leaving this the way it is. Besides, it might be something for the other guys here to think about. Remember this is my unedited post:

Signs are pointing to misses wrong right now. I got that eerie feeling in the back of my neck. Just ealier today she said she might be pregnant. Now I'm like, 'WTF!' Where is this coming from? First she tries to tell me that I proposed to her last week and now she's saying she is pregnant.

FUUCK! OH FUUCK! LEAVE HER! DO NOT HAVE SEX WITH HER! LEAVE HER NOW SHE IS TRYING TO TRAP YOU! If she was on the birth control pill, she is off it now. Guaranteed. I have heard this WAY too many times. Even my own uncle fell for it just last year. You are following the EXACT same path that all these other guys did. It is not warped perceptions, you know something is wrong. If anything, your perceptions are blocking 80% of it due to your affection for her but you do see just enough to give you pause. Leave her. Do it now. Watch, in five to ten years she will be in a different marriage with two or three kids and the guy will be miserable, that is, if the guy didn't wake up soon and now he is paying alimony.

I was going to do a wait and see approach and have you ask yourself if you truly love her. It's beyond that now. I am assured and do not doubt AT ALL that she is bad for you -- for anyone actually. End it now. Don't have a long talk as she will do everything in her power to keep you in the relationship, even conjure tears. And I do mean CONJURE. End it now. Basically just send her a notice that it is over, whether it is an email, a written letter or a 30 second phone call. What ever you do, for God's sake leave her and don't give her the chance to talk you back into the relationship. Trust me, those legs will close once she is married, whether to you or someone else.

Steve Bradley, a friend of mine, has a wife that gave it up all the time before the marriage and would even watch porn with him. After they got married, her legs closed and he didn't have sex for FIVE YEARS. I'm not exaggerating. She also badgered and berated him whenever he rented an R-rated movie, even though just a few years earlier, she was watching porn with him. She keeps him in the marriage by threatening legal action. She would even hit her own arms against the edges of doors so that she would bruise then tell him, "Prove to the cops that you didn't do this to me."

This girlfriend of yours sounds identical to all the marriage horror stories I have heard and seen. Get out of the relationship NOW and don't ever talk to her again.